Bah
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
its wednesday now and i just finished all of the papers except for chinese, todays one the maths was probably the worst.........i think the best i can get is an AO pass...if theres a miracle, i'll get an A level pass. ARgh history and econs were slightly better , my revision was half baked, couldnt realli concentrate..still some was better than nothing.
Right now i am feeling so weird, its like i see pple that i noe, but i dun have the guts to talk to them, this is especially when i am in class, i dun seem to be talking to my classmates as often as i used to ..SOme of them, i havent spoke a word to in like a few months...BLAR I MUST GET rid of this habit of mine. DIE!!!!!!!!!! I must not let shyness overcome me, or fear or whatever $%^&% that stops me from socialising.
oh on sunday got lawn bowls competition, didnt do very well against the old pple who were super pro, in addition, got sunburn on my nose again as i was under the sun from morning to about 430 in the afternoon.
Now i shall think of ways to be more open to other ppl TATA!
5:08:00 PM
OH no
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Lets c its thursday nite and just bout slightly more than 40 hours till history paper. The past 4 days were spent mostly at home studying,stoning, slacking, procastinating, ocassionally go out for lunch.Lets see on wednesday had delicious roti prata!! near Nus that shop,erm cant remember the name. YUMMY that was like the first time i had prata since mid march. Value for money too ^-^. Oh and my comp is getting on my nerves with all the popups and lagginess due to the virus in the comp that cant be removed. Still searching for the last box set for gundam seed, cant wait to get it and finish off this fantastic series. YOu've got to watch it if u got the time.Attempts to dload it via kazaa is frustatingly slow.... tortourous is a more accurate word. Someone teach me how to use bit torrent, i'm a noobie at using bt. Ok thats all i am thinking so far, other than how to handle that dreaded hist paper.
11:02:00 PM
HAi time passes too fast
Monday, June 21, 2004
Hm the weekend has already gone by ultra quick and i am lagging behind in my studies.As i am typing this, my fingers are shivering.... must be the pre-exam stressness.ARGH the thought of not doing well is always somewhere in my brain. I must EXCORCISE IT BE gone once and for all.I must believe that i can do it. anywayz on Sat i went to the hope of god church at the invitation of Freedy, one of Jansen's friend to have lunch and then attend praise and worship. It was fun alrite, with some clips of american idol uncensored, all the bloopers etc..( william hung.. hehe) What the pastor said was truly meaning, if one doesnt have any weaknesses, that person will be too proud. So weaknesses keep us humble. Anyway after service, i went to taka library to study for a while before heading home.
On sunday, went for service at city harvest church, met Amos at the entrance who showed me the way.Once again, found the service meaningful and amazed at the energy exhibited by the ppl. Saw Ho Yeow Sun, a singer who was also the pastor at that church. THere were a lot of pastors present, including the guest from malaysia and Russia.
After service, rushed back to town to meet parents for Father's day meal. Journey took ages once again, more than an hour. AFter that accompanied my dad to search for a new hp for his present.However, his plan not yet 21 months, so have to wait for another month. Phones super ex, even with trade ins... Yup after that, went back home, took a nap, studied a bit and then slacked..
9:58:00 PM
.........
As i pass through life, it itself is a perilious journey filled with all sorts of pple who u will meet.
Some are nice, while others are not so nice.
I dunno how to say this, but this has been bugging me for almost 2 FCUKING MONTHS CAUSING ME TORMENT.
I have to let it go ONCE AND FOR ALL.Painful memories from the months of april, may that refuse to go away no matter how hard i try to forget.
Right now i'm just wishing i could turn back time and perhaps have avoided this whole mess in the first place.
I just want to clear the misunderstanding that has occurred, this cant go on forever..
SO much pent up anger that is dying to be released has been suppressed for like almost 2 months.
I WANNA SCREAM MY HEAD OFF ARgHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHhhhhh ***%^^%$%^* .......now i can go and sleep in peace
12:51:00 AM
update (^-^)
Friday, June 18, 2004
Ok heres an update of what basically happened in the past say 5 days. Time whizzes so fast that i cant even stop to think, as i type this dunno how mani minutes will be gone.
Monday, tuesday basically slack days. Stayed at home most of the time to laze around and force myself to study. As the house was under renovation had to go out for meals except breakfast. Studying progressing at a slow rate, i scared i cant finish my revision. Onli got about 9 days left....
Wednesday training got shifted to the afternoon which was totally unexpected, its like we were expecting it to be in the morning. ANywaz i studied in the morning, and in the afternoon went to yck mrt to meet jansen and his pals. Arrived there at about 130pm, hm his hair has changed, more funky, other than that he's as cheerful as ever.After a while met all of his friends, erm freedy,dex,jonathan,ted,rayson,alvin, james. Hm they were from diff jcs like srjc,ajc and yjc. So we proceeded to nyp to eat in their canteen, foodcourt was closed so we ate fast food. The food is cheaper than outside but tastes delicious. After that we went to the grassroot club to bowl. MAn my bowling really sucks, cannot make it. Rayson was the most pro reaching a score of about 120 pins. I got the lowest blehz.
After that we went to play table soccer, quite funny to play but expensive, cost about 50 cents for like 6 balls only..We then proceeded to the billards room where a few of us were playing billards. Me and those not playing just lazed around, later we acted like pple deprived of a childhood, by throwing balls across the table into the pockets to c who was the most accurate. Lolx had loads of fun doing childish stuff. Finally around 520, we left the way and went our seperate ways. I must day i had an enjoyable time with them, they're pretty cool and nice pple. A big THANK YOU to JanSen, enjoyed chatting and catching up with u. STay cool man
6:28:00 PM
weekend
Monday, June 14, 2004
ok time for a quick update about what happened from last friday. Ok i got training in the morning, had to drag myself out of bed and get ready to go. Hitched a ride to plaza singapura before taking the bus to kallang down there. Urgh the sun was so hot and i was super drowxy and tired , my sunburns sustained from thursday made things worse. As ususal my lawn bowling was average, not up to par with dennis the pro and soon to be captain. He usually ends of saving our team when i screw something up. Anyway training ended bout 12 and then i headed home. Supposed to meet my friend but then he suddenly got extra lessons ( acjc). So i just stoned around at home and watched somemore gundam. I really love that show, craving for more episodes
SATURDAY woke up about 10 in the morning.Had to see the eye specialist for a follow up checkup. Went there around 11, even though appointment was at 10. But based on previous experience, i always had to wait, so i thought if i came later= wait less. WRONG! ended up waiting for close to an hour before i spent less than 4 min with the doc. He sayz i am fine just that must come back again in 3 weeks time.
In the afternoon, the same person who i was supposed to meet up again couldnt make it as he was ill. Went home and played the comp for a while, also read the teens magazine i bought. At 430, went with family to funan centre to have an eye checkup and to arrange for my new specs. spent a super long time there as all memebers of my family had to have their eyes checked. My father tried to bargain for a cheaper price, in the end the bill was over 1k dollars.... We had dinner at the foodcourt before leaving around 1940.
Alrite SUNDAY, woke up early around 815, then ate breakfast and my mum sent me to queentown mrt station. Then i went to boon lay station and waited for jing xuan to come. She asked me to come and attend her church service, which is christian, i am a catholic by the way. Well i didnt mind going, wanted to see how a "praise and worship" session was like. So like we boared the shuttlebus, which i stupidly tapped my ezlink card and reached the church which looked super mordern.
WOW ! the moment i stepped in that church ( city harvest) i was impressed, it had lifts and the reception area itself was impressive. The session was held in a auditorum in the basement level 3 and 4. Ok it was huge and the scene was like more for a concert or something. The session kicked off with crowds of pple singing their lungs out and pple jumping for joy praising the lord. I was stunned, this is totally different from the quiet and orderly routine of mass. Here the place was so full of energy and vibrance. The pple are so passionate about singing praises to god. Looking at jing xuan and the other pple singing so deeply and passionately was an eye opener. The music was emplified by some gizmos that are used for concerts. The band played rockish tunes that praised and glorified god.
After that their pastor gave a speech and then invited the guest who was a pastor from Russia who has noble blood. Yeah he was a speaker who roused the attention of everyone, there wasnt a boring moment.He told the pple that i was their duty to go and spread the word's lord and everyone should go for a mission trip or something. Then he asked those who wanted to do something for the lord, and hordes of pple went down, including jing xuan to be blessed by the pastor. A shocking scene for me was went he ran around touching pple's foreheads and they seemingly passed out and fell to the ground. Ok went the service was over, we went to the rooftop for some debriefing. After that i thanked her for this rare insight and she showed me the way back to the bus-stop before i caught 242 back to boonlay station.
Then i took a looooooooooonng trip back to orchard station to meet my classmates for project work. Arrived in town at about 135 and bought some sushi for 510 dollars for my lunch. Talk bout expensive food. The project work meeting around 3 oclock. We shared the delicious fries at the library at orchard. After that i went to meet my family at macs at shaw house basement. Grabbed a quick bite at macs and chatted for a while. Went to borders to kill time. At 1730 went back to lido to watch "breaking news" a chinese movie with my family. Hm pretty short and medicore in my opinion.
After that, i rushed to cineleisure to meet my friend benedict to watch "day after tommorrow" Wow that show was awesome in terms of special effects, the twisters and the snow.Makes me wonder that such an event can actually happen in the future if nothing is done to save the environment. Hm maybe i use less aircon... Finally got home close to 2200 to grab some noodles as dinner.
10:58:00 PM
unexpected outing
Saturday, June 12, 2004
Ok when i was watching harry potter on wed i got an unexpected sms from jing xuan. My first 3 months classmates whose very sporty and tall. She asked us ( my former class T9) whether we could join her and her church group at sentosa for an outing. at first i couldnt decide whether to go as firstly i doubted that i could get up early enough the next day, my movie ended at midnite and i got home around 0040. we were supposed to meet up at 9 the next day at harbour front. Secondly i dun really noe her church group. In the end i just decided to go, it was an oppurtunity for me to catch up a bit with her and get to see her church group
So i woke rather early and hitched a ride on my parents car to reach dhoby ghuat interchange before taking the train to harbour front.There i saw a lot of ppl waiting, after waiting for a while jing xuan came and introduced me to some of her church friends, who incidentally were the pple gathered at the station. I then realised i was the only one besides her who was from T9.
I met a couple of pple who were all in jx's church group, most of them were in jc's with a few adult leaders i think. The group proceeded to sentosa where the station games started . I was in jing xuan's group together with her fellow track mate jieyun, nayun a tall and muscular acjcian basketballer and yong ming also from acjc. They were friendly and sociable and didnt mind my presence as an outsider.
The first game played was the treasure hunt, we scoured all over the beach for items. However the coconut we got got eaten be the other pple. The second game was hydration, basically each group had to finish 7 cans of soft drinks. Our group had only 5 pple but we drank really quickly. Lolx after that we were all like so stuffed with gas
Next was a game where after burying jing xuan in the sand,i and nayun swam across the little strait to an island and had to guess what they were saying, they drew the letters using their ahem bottoms. I didnt realise they were trying to spell my name. -embarrased-
After lunch i met a guy named amoz whose from catholic high, wow he sure can make ppl laugh, his jokes are lame but funny. We played games like dog and bone and beach volleyball. After that, jingxuan suggested to ride the monorail and we agreed to do so. It was a long ride but we entertained ourselves by talking cock among ourselves and doing lame stuff. Amoz was like the entertainer on board.That was the first time in dunno how many years i rode the monorail. We stopped by bk at the ferry terminal for a quick bite.
Later we got back to the beach just in time for the beautiful sunset. It was really nice to see the sun melt over the horizon. We finally left sentosa at around 1930. I got to really thank jing xuan for this oppurtunity to attend to this outing. She said the outing would be fun and it sure is. It sort of gave me an insight what her church group was like.
9:07:00 PM
catching up
Thursday, June 10, 2004
Ah it has been a rather hectic pass 2 days. On wed i was stoning around at home watching another box of gundam seed that i just bought yesterday. watched finished it again and yearned for some more. Yup i think i am addicted to that anime now. I realised that lawn bowls training was shifted to the morning and i woke up at 10 way past the starting time. Drat i thought it was in the afternoon at the usual time.I gotta train more often, got a competition coming up in like one month, so i must make sure i go on friday morning.
In the nite, i went to plaza singapura to have dinner with my mom, after that i met my old friend joel for a movie. before that we were basically toking cock and roaming round the place. Passed by the arcade and saw some girls doing the para para dance, hm pretty nice music i must say. Harry potter is a nice show, although i didnt watch the first 2 films , i still found it enjoyable and quite intriging. Now i noe why so many pple absoulutely dig this show and read the books. hm by the time the show finished it was midnite and we had to rush to catcth the last mrt train back home. I reached a deserted orchard road at 0020 to find that the last 174 had left already... In the end i still managed to get home. i shall talk about thursday another time
9:56:00 PM
msgs
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
hm yesterday went back to sji to collect O level cert, hm so silly have to wait for 6 months after the new year before u can get it. I couldnt contact my friend who suddenly seemed to have dissappeared, calling his phone and his house got no reply... oh well, anyway saw some of the scouts having a debrief after camp, kind of reminds me of my younger days. Time really passes so fast whether u like it or not, maybe when i grow up i will invent a time machine or something.
Oh yeah i found out that some simple msgs can have a lot of meaning, in a positive sense that is, it allows u to keep in contact with some ppl who are in other schools and lets u noe how they are doing. The power of words can really make a difference, kind words bring joy to ones soul while hurtful words bring sorrow. Oh yeah i tried to do some excercise in the evening, man i sure need to excercise more regurlarily, jogging for a while makes me tired already..
Thats all my mind can think of for now
1:07:00 PM
bored
Sunday, June 06, 2004
its sunday already, just like that one week of the holidays has passed and i didnt get to enjoy much of its i was mostly ill.....blehz. The thought of the mid year exams coming in about 3 weeks time really kills the pleasure of this holiday. I havent studied and i dun plan to study till like bout 10 days before. Yeah i noe, PROCASTINATION IS SO IRRESISTIBLE, hope i dun screw up the other papers as i already missed one of the compulsory papers. Hm tomolo going back to sji to collect the ORdinary cert, hope to meet up with some of my ex-classmates, havent seen some of them in ages,,, i wanna catch a few film too
12:52:00 PM
thinking
Thursday, June 03, 2004
hm finally went back to school today for hist lect, pretty boring i must say. The teacher thinks he is being funny with all that jokes but some of them are really substandard i must say. I missed out the maths on mon and tues, my brain still gets pretty tired easily, cant really say i am back at full strength.Got to watch my health. cant let it deteriorate again. The feeling of lying in bed again makes me shiver. Well spent the day watching anime gundam seed and playing some wc3 and cs. Its been a while since i played wc3, still as fun as ever.Yup games are fun but playing for too long can be bad for your health so i gotta restrain myself, i dun wanna collaspe and die. It has happened to other unfortunate pple before.
Still got a lot of things in my mind. I gotta learn to relax and let go off these annoying tensions within me.Its not worth getting so stressed out over trivial things
9:35:00 PM
